Hey girls! I've been putting off updating this, but i simply must do it. Ok so i actually thought about how long i've been restrictign my food intake and it will be a year on valentines day. Yup, i'm the weird girl that actually remembers this. But i think it all started when i was 11. I read chicken soup for the girl's soul (i was majorly depressed and my dad thought it would help, it only made it worse) and i remember thinking how i wanted to be anorexic. I tried, but i was such a little fat pig with no self control that it failed epically. Last year however, i made one simple change to my daily diet. I simply didn't eat lunch. Then i got involved in a play where i was dancing for three hours every night and i didn't have time to eat dinner. Since i couldn't eat breakfast, i would go on 24 hour fasts. I remember being so proud of myself for going 28 hours w/o food. Thats when i dropped 15 pounds. But it wasn't enough. So during the summer if i ate too much I would go and "take a bath", i would throw it up. I kept hoping to have better self control cause i don't want to damage my voice since i plan on being an actress on Broadway in New York.
I've never had the best relationships, but on caused me ti start cutting myself last year. Well it was a mix between him and my mother. He was my best friend even after we broke up, and when i started dating an 18 year old, he flipped. I now know tat he was still in love with me, and he only said these next words because he was mad: You never meant anything to me. Yup, it broke my heart. So I'm now 15 and realizing that you can't put other people on a pedestal. You'll only get hurt. But you can put two people up and they'll never let you down. God and Ana. I'm a super big Christian, but i'm not the pushy, smacking the bible in your face kind. If you allow Ana to come into your life, she will never let you down. She can help you achieve your goal.
