Help

I'm sorry i'm such a morbid blogger :( but I can't talk to anyone about this. I failed today. Horribly. It all started with one damn pretzel. Then it was like i just said "oh well fuck the rest of the day" after school i had a terrible binge. And it never seemed to end. I had half a banana, a granola bar, a whole bag of popcorn, some chocolate, pretzels, bread with cheese and humus, several crackers, and some chicken and veggies. Yeah, i know, i'm a disgusting fat pig, right? I was down to 117 this morning.....why the fuck did i eat?? I need someone to help keep me on track :( I took 6 laxatives (i know, they can cause your digestive tract to depend on them, but then if i never ate, i'd never need them! lol perfect plan?)  but they havent' kicked in yet if ya know what i mean. So if you'd like to text and you're in the U.S. email me, and we'll swap numbers. God i'd just like to talk to someone face to face about it sometimes. Ugh this is so hard sometimes!!! But then its harder to eat. But if it was easy everyone would be doing it, right?

I think nighttime is the worst time for me. I get depressed and mopey and i just want to TALK to someone. But of course, no one can talk. I hate myself and i wish i could just run away from me. I think i've said that before...

I hope you girls are staying on track and the weight is dropping off you! I sincerly love ya all :)

 love,
Brett                          

p.s.  a "concerned parent" (not mine of course) told me today that my collar bone was protruding too much, and that made me feel a little better :):)